How does anyone with a shred of curiosity or daring get out of adolescence alive? You took me back to the wild longing of those years. I was somewhere different on the map, yet fundamentally the same. Far fucking out.
I wrote about David Bowie last night on my 69th birthday, which is the same age he was when he kicked the bucket. I hope to make it further in this mortal coil than he did, but we'll see, I guess. https://themjkxn.substack.com/p/golden-years
Perfect, Chen! Thank you. You put me in mind, then, of Nabokov, in Speak, Memory:
“How small the cosmos (a kangaroo's pouch would hold it), how paltry and puny in comparison to human consciousness, to a single individual recollection, and its expression in words!”
I laughed out loud by the time I got to the end. That scene in the ocean and then the greetings to church-goers are priceless. Well, a lot in this piece is priceless and classic, too.
(For a year after college, when I had no money and no real job, I lived in a house with four dopeheads. Don't ask, who? One was a relative. I did the shopping and dinner-making and cleaning as exchange. I even accompanied one of them on a coke run, told to be a lookout. It was the first - and last - dope deal I witnessed. After that, I lived in fear the place would be raided and all my dreams for writing go down with it.)
A "form of memory" indeed. The wonder is anyone remembers anything from those days!
That's the spirit! (I just watched the new documentary on Mel Brooks. He well understood, like all comedians, that there are few greater pleasures, if any, than making people laugh. :)
I had a little more experience drug dealing -- Jerry much more. One day I was with him when he was selling a couple of ounces of pot to two guys who stopped by. We all sat around for a taste and got very high. Then, on leaving, our visitors started marching out the door with two clear plastic baggies grasped dangling from their hands. Jerry said, "Ah, I think you want to put those things away." We had a good laugh.
Man, this brought back so many memories of reckless youth and that feeling like anything was possible. The motorcycle ride with no brakes is absolutley wild - the kind of thing you do when your too young to realize you shouldn't. Your descriptions of the acid trip and the ocean at dawn were incredibly vivid, really captured that sense of wonder and freedom.
This was compelling with its filmic beauty, Jay. Almost nothing in this is anywhere close to my own adolescence, but it's a beautiful plunge into a distant ocean for me.
How does anyone with a shred of curiosity or daring get out of adolescence alive? You took me back to the wild longing of those years. I was somewhere different on the map, yet fundamentally the same. Far fucking out.
Rona, I remember those who didn't get out alive, some who made it farther, but . . .. More on that to come. "Wild longing" is a good phrase. Word.
I remember wanting to be David Bowie back then.
But now that he's dead, I guess I'm glad I'm not.
Funny how our perspective can change about that kind of thing. You made me laugh.
I wrote about David Bowie last night on my 69th birthday, which is the same age he was when he kicked the bucket. I hope to make it further in this mortal coil than he did, but we'll see, I guess. https://themjkxn.substack.com/p/golden-years
"Для отрока, в ночи́ глядящего эстампы,
За каждым валом — даль, за каждой далью — вал,
Как этот мир велик в лучах рабочей лампы!
Ах, в памяти очах — как бесконечно мал!
В один ненастный день, в тоске нечеловечьей,
Не вынеся тягот, под скрежет якорей,
Мы всходим на корабль — и происходит встреча
Безмерности мечты с предельностью морей."
Perfect, Chen! Thank you. You put me in mind, then, of Nabokov, in Speak, Memory:
“How small the cosmos (a kangaroo's pouch would hold it), how paltry and puny in comparison to human consciousness, to a single individual recollection, and its expression in words!”
I laughed out loud by the time I got to the end. That scene in the ocean and then the greetings to church-goers are priceless. Well, a lot in this piece is priceless and classic, too.
(For a year after college, when I had no money and no real job, I lived in a house with four dopeheads. Don't ask, who? One was a relative. I did the shopping and dinner-making and cleaning as exchange. I even accompanied one of them on a coke run, told to be a lookout. It was the first - and last - dope deal I witnessed. After that, I lived in fear the place would be raided and all my dreams for writing go down with it.)
A "form of memory" indeed. The wonder is anyone remembers anything from those days!
That's the spirit! (I just watched the new documentary on Mel Brooks. He well understood, like all comedians, that there are few greater pleasures, if any, than making people laugh. :)
I had a little more experience drug dealing -- Jerry much more. One day I was with him when he was selling a couple of ounces of pot to two guys who stopped by. We all sat around for a taste and got very high. Then, on leaving, our visitors started marching out the door with two clear plastic baggies grasped dangling from their hands. Jerry said, "Ah, I think you want to put those things away." We had a good laugh.
Man, this brought back so many memories of reckless youth and that feeling like anything was possible. The motorcycle ride with no brakes is absolutley wild - the kind of thing you do when your too young to realize you shouldn't. Your descriptions of the acid trip and the ocean at dawn were incredibly vivid, really captured that sense of wonder and freedom.
Thanks! I was just praising the pleasure, above, of making people laugh. Then there's learning people *relate*! :)
What a tale of truth! Risky and totally engaging.
"Engaging" is good to learn! Thank you, Mary.
Oh the rhythm of our youth and didn't we all "learn the truth at 17"?
This story brought back some really good memories, thank you for that. I hope you had a good time writing it and reminiscing.
Thank you for your comment and for sharing. I did have a good time! I'm glad I provided a little bit of a good time for others. :)
This was compelling with its filmic beauty, Jay. Almost nothing in this is anywhere close to my own adolescence, but it's a beautiful plunge into a distant ocean for me.